deficit or strength?

Do you believe you are at a deficit because your identity in the LGBTQ+ community?

Or, if you are not part of the LGBTQ+ Community, do you feel and act like those who are, are deficient in some way?

There are helpful and unhelpful ideas and conversations being had about deficit thinking.  On a practical level – you know – real world, day to day living – I can easily fall into the trap of thinking I’m at a deficit because of X,Y and Z…

For example, because I never obtained a college degree, I can think I’m at a deficit in the job market, or I am not as smart or prepared as my counterparts who have a degree. (BTW – Education is important and yet attending college is not the only way to obtain an education.)

I may think I’m at a deficit because of my age.  I’ll be turning 65 next month…

Deficit or strength?  (Older people have experiences that are sometimes difficult to quantify, yet the value can easily be overlooked for the shiny new recent college grad…)

Here is where perspective matters and impacts outcomes…

What is alarming is the way deficit thinking and theory can be applied to those in marginalized communities.  Because I’m trans or bi or gay or a person of color or a woman I can’t have the same expectations as someone else.

One School Principal said: “DEFICIT speech in schools that reflect DEFICIT thinking produce a DEFICIT culture that puts children at a DEFICIT.”

A story is told about a black mother who is checking in with her child’s teacher throughout the school year and is receiving good reports about her child’s progress only to discover when grades are released that her child received “C’s”

In the mother’s mind that wasn’t good and when following up the teacher was told the child was doing good and the grade was good for him… and she shouldn’t try to push him hard…

Real or not, this story highlights mediocrity and low standards by school staff who have low expectations based on a deficit narrative.

Do we do this to ourselves?

As part of the LGBTQ+ Community, do we approach life from a place of deficit?

Do we think we don’t belong and therefore don’t deserve the hope and happiness we desire?  And if we do believe we deserve a good life, are we living our lives that way?

This is where radical self-acceptance can provide a framework to help us move into the life we want and deserve.  It builds on assets instead of focusing on deficits.

Hope and resilience and abundance are born out of hard work and practical application of all your resources and requires some personal responsibility.  I’m really tired of blaming other people for where I am in life.

Instead of focusing on deficits what if we focused on assets?  Those things you are good at: 

Your creativity…

Your resilience…

Your courage…

Your passion for serving and helping others…

Your ability to be kind in difficult circumstances…

Your compassion…

How you do your best to listen and treat others with respect…

Your empathy…

Yes, we can pursue excellence – I want to, and I am willing to work toward that, all while honoring those I come in contact with.

How about you?  Are you going to approach life from place of deficit or are you gonna live in a place where you can build on your assets?

It’s your choice…

Would love to chat about it with you.

Let’s chat.   (Click the link to schedule a time)

Thinking about y’all today…

You are valued…

You are loved…

You are ohh so precious…

And remember

Life’s too short  |  Be kind  |  Do good

Talk soon…

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